ESFNA Afrowave 2k18: Shrooms Edition

This the prelude?

I never planned on taking it but something inside me insisted I should.
It’s something I did/didn’t regret.

Set up the Scene Robeezy!

It was a Saturday afternoon, the recovery day from a sober-less Friday night. The heat was scorching our melanin as the clouds cowardly ran away the rays. The humidity came out victorious when it clashed with our hair. The tone has to be set , so please excuse my cliche choice of words. Or what most other people would call it, “headass”.

How long is the intro?

There was a day party scheduled that day thrown by some of my friends. Being the non alcoholic drinker I am, I had to substitute my carelessness with other substances. Usually in my younger days, marijuana would be the catalyst. Now it’s just an appetizer being a gateway to the main entree. All pun intended. Two of my friends called me and asked if I wanted to do shrooms. I was hesitant at first but when I ran it by my roommate, her being intrigued was convincing enough. I swear, those Canadians are really outgoing and adventurous. Being this emotional sappy wannabe grunge writer that I am, I usually consume psilocybin in my own stratosphere. I never thought I would take psychedelics in a room filled with boasting Africans who don’t know the definition of sense.

Eyuckkk as Pusha T would say

When we picked it up from the plug, I was planning to eat the shrooms like a bag of chips. My roommate looked at me with more disgust than the actual taste of the shrooms. We stopped by In N Out, I usually don’t eat mushrooms on my burger but this was the only exception. We split an eighth but I went for the enlarged caps. The caps were so fat, it turned my burger into a triple-triple. Now, I told myself on this trip that women wasn’t a make or break for my enjoyment. But as I gazed upon my burger before taking my first bite, I just knew any chances of getting pussy would be diminished.

Don’t blow my high you big bad wolf!

I was walking to the venue wondering how I’m going to drive after. (I know, I should have called an uber. But I had a bad trip involved with Uber’s before. They kept attacking my address with different uber drivers. That’s another story for another day). I see some of my boys at the door collecting tickets, I dapped them up as I gain entry. Now I thought this bar was going to be basic, knowing how my people work. Yet, the wall was plastered with euphoric- inspired colored paintings. It had all the colors of the rainbow wheel dripping off the canvas with non Christmas flickering lights slinging from wall to wall. I just knew I was in for a ride when I saw a picture of three little pigs staring at me with a judgmental facial expression. I knew the drugs hit me when I started to think that a wolf blew their house down and that’s the reason why they were at the bar.

My roommate was going to the bar to order drinks while I was puffin on a pen like a mellow hipster. I saw a girl that I was long time interested in but never had the cojones to utter a greeting. She smiled from afar , so I was sure things would change. Yet, the affects had a firm grip on my you know what. The room was getting packed, the temperature was heating up. My roommate pointed out the rhythm of flickering lights. So surely, I wasn’t the only one in a trance. I leaned back on the wall to maintain my stability. I felt the shrooms deliver body hooks as I’m repeating the hook to “Nice for What”. As I bat my eyes to the ceiling trying to divulge into the melody , I felt a woman shove me just so she can twerk her curve-less, non defined slope ass on a regular guy like his pelvis got the Midas touch that her weak backside needed. I don’t body shame but I want you to feel my mood change that day. I quickly left to the other room of the venue where my Houston friends were resting.

Robell trippin Lmao - Henny

I greeted my friends like I never seen them in years. They already suspected of me being high off a substance but they didn’t know the degree of it. Usually when Robell is high, we all laugh and marvel at the fact how low my tolerance is. I started to really trip when I saw more of my Houston friends keep appearing from a wall like David Blaine showing me a magic trick. Little did I know, they were just leaving the restroom. As I’m conversing with my friends discussing how dilated my eyes are, I heard a silent growl. I looked up and saw a trophy of a lynx cat. His jaws were open as if it was screaming and his belly was moving up and down like it was breathing. I froze when I saw its eyes burying into my soul like I stepped foot inside his territory. That cat was alive. I told my friend to observe it but he laughed it off like I was tripping. In fact, I was tripping. I was tripping bad. So why not go back to dance floor and trip all out?

Okay Dallas, I see you now.

As I smushed my way back into the now filled dance floor , I stood in place while the scene captivated me. I looked at the stage where the DJ was blurting out shoutouts to East African girls from different cities like it was a roll call. I saw various shoulders moving in sync to our ethnic melodies. Rest assured , it was the Ethiopian tournament after all. My eyes were observing all over but it was magnetized to this girl on the stage lip syncing to “In my feelings”. She had thick curly hair and hoop earrings bigger than my ego for me to say something to her. That was a generic description given the circumstances on the rest of the attendees but damn, she won me for a couple of seconds before she faded away into the crowd. Being the Houston native, I always embellished the rivalry with Dallas. That day changed everything. I witnessed the excitement and overflowing pride of the Dallas locals singing to their anthems. At this point, I couldn’t do anything but respect it. I have always appreciated differences, so I let this be one of the cases representing my claim. After not really grasping why this girl wanted my contact info because I was so fucked up , I stepped out to get some fresh air. That’s when my trip took a sharp fall like penny stocks.

Hold on to your butts - Samuel L Jackson

As I was cherishing a new atmosphere, I heard screaming and glasses breaking like it was a Stone Cold Steve Austin surprise entrance . The rowdy crowd was being evicted while the troubled were evacuating. It was stampede when a fight broke out, and all I could think about was my small framed roommate probably flattened and smothered . Like damn, the Canadians are going to get my ass now. My frantic behavior changed when I realized one of my close homies was balling up his fists. My consciousness temporarily left and I was prepared to blindly swing at the opposition. That all stopped when I realized he was cool and that the opposition was outnumbered. The cops pulled up and I knew I had to go. The dream scene was painted out with me looking up to a bird eyes view camera singing a broadway song with chaos surrounding me. It would have been a great musical, but it would probably would have been directed by racist white people telling us black actors to improvise and “act natural”. Nevertheless, some sense was needed.

Are we there yet?

My safety was being chauffeured by my roommates cousin’s friend whom I never met before. I was too reckless to drive and soon my conscience was begging for my body to catch up. I didn’t know who this girl was but I started spilling out personal information like she was my psychiatrist. Poor girl just wanted to have fun but I held her attention hostage with my old aged thoughts about committing to a particular girl of interest. Next thing I could remember is me being in middle of a restaurant floor on FaceTime with a homie while asking a server for some water. Of course, these old Ethiopians were scolding a guy with long hair and nose hoop wondering why he has no respect by interrupting their dry ass dinner. I felt the judgment in the air from everyone around me, and quickly I wanted to snap out of this trip. I started to google “how to end a trip”, and clicked on the most recent forum. Somehow, someway the forums knew I was searching it up while on shrooms. The users online were conversing with each other saying they shouldn’t freak me out and let me enjoy the trip. With my closeted personality reacting to the judgement and my last hallucination of a website talking to me through my phone, my trip came to an end. I didn’t bust a nut, but everything turned out fine. That’s all it matters.


Lesson learned.

Yeah, take shrooms in a better place.